Miscellaneous Masa'il

Matters of experience and organization

1. As far as possible do not get both your sons or both your daughters married at once. This is because there will definitely be some difference in your daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. In your very sons and daughters there are differences with regards to their physique, appearance, dress, beauty, modesty and shame, and in various other matters. People are in the habit of gossiping, praising one and deriding the other. This unnecessarily causes ill-feeling.

2. Do not trust anyone and everyone. Do not entrust your house to anyone and everyone. As long as you have not tested or gauged a person's credibility, do not rely on him. In cities you will find many women who are charmers, fortune tellers, gypsies, etc. who barge into homes. Do not even allow them to come near your home. Such women have entered many homes and cleared them (of all goods).

3. Do not leave your jewellery box or hand-bag (or wallet) lying around. Always keep it locked or else, carry it with you.

4. As far as possible, do not purchase anything on credit. If you have no alternative but to purchase on credit, ensure that you find out the price of the item together with writing down the date. Once you have sufficient cash (to fulfil the debt) immediately go and pay the creditor.

5. As far as possible, try and suffice with the monthly allowance you receive and use it in an appropriate manner. In fact, you should try and save some of your monthly allowance.

6. Do not utter things which you do not wish to be mentioned to others in the presence of those women who frequent your home. Such women include maids, domestic servants, cleaners, etc. This is because such women are in the habit of mentioning your domestic affairs to various other people and various other homes.

7. Do not prepare your meals by using the various ingredients such as flour, rice, etc. by mere estimation. Use the ingredients according to your needs and ensure that you weigh them properly and use only that which would be sufficient. If anyone mocks or teases you for weighing all the ingredients (and not using them through estimation) do not worry about them.

8. When your daughters go out (for some work or to play) do not allow them to wear any jewellery as this would pose a danger to their lives and wealth as well.

9. If any man knocks on your door and claims friendship, claims to have an appointment or any dealing with your husband, father or brother, do not ever permit him to enter the house. Do not permit him to enter even if it may be behind a veil. At the same time, do not hand over any valuable item to him. Do not display excessive likeness or devotion to him until one of the menfolk of your house recognizes him. In the same way, do not accept anything which he gives or sends to you. If he feels hurt over this, do not worry about it.

10. In the same way if any strange woman comes with a car (or any other mode of transport) and informs you that so-and-so person has sent for you, don't ever sit in that car. In short, do not do anything by the mere information of strange persons. Nor should you give them anything from your house irrespective of whether they be men or women and irrespective of whether they ask for the item on their own behalf or in the name of some other person.

11. Do not keep any tree or plant in the house which could prove to be harmful or injurious.

12. Wear extra clothing in winter. Most women do not clothe themselves properly in winter. This causes influenza and colds.

13. Teach children the names of their father, mother, and grandfather as well. Occasionally, you should test them to see whether they remember these names or not. The benefit of this is that if a child gets lost somewhere and someone asks him his father's or mother's name, he will at least be in a position to inform them. Someone or the other will recognize the parents' name (and be able to trace them). If the child does not know the parents' name, he will merely say: "I am mummy's son" or "I am daddy's son" and no one will know who he is referring to.

14. Once a woman left a child at a certain place and went on an errand. In the meantime, a cat came and bit the child in such a manner that the child passed away. We learn two things from this. One is that you should never leave your child alone anywhere. The second thing is that one cannot trust cats, dogs and other animals. Some women are in the stupid habit of allowing cats to sleep at their side. If the cat has to scratch or bite them or hold them by the throat, what will they do?

15. When purchasing any medicine, always show it to your doctor so that he may check whether it is suited to you or not. If there is any dirt or dust on the packaging of the medicine, remove it thoroughly and check that you have received the correct medicine. At times, the pharmacist (or his assistant) gives the wrong medicine and its effect is disastrous. All left over medicines should be carefully labelled by clearly writing the name of the medicine and its purpose as well. At times, a person does not recognize the medicine and therefore has to throw it away. At other times, the person does not clearly remember the purpose of the medicine and therefore mistakenly uses it for another sickness thereby causing harm to himself.

16. Do not take loans from people who respect and honour you. (In taking loans from such persons, you will lose your respect and honour). At the same time do not give too much on credit or loan. If you have to give on credit, give an amount which you would be able to bear if it is not paid back.

17. If you have to undertake a major or new task, first seek advice from a knowledgeable and pious person.

18. Conceal your money, possessions and other valuables. Do not show them nor mention them to anyone and everyone.

19. When writing a letter to anyone, ensure that you write your complete address clearly. If you have written to the person previously, do not think that you had written your address in the previous letter therefore there is no need to write it again. How do you know whether the person still has your previous letter or not? If he does not have it, just think of the inconvenience that you would be putting him into. It is possible that he does not even have your address in his mind or that he is illiterate and was therefore unable to inform his scribe.

20. If you have to travel by train (or any other public mode of transport) ensure that you keep your travel tickets and other documents very safely. You could also give it to your menfolk for safe keeping. When in the train, do not sleep to the extent that you become absolutely unconscious of your surroundings. Do not mention any secrets to your fellow female travellers. Do not make any mention of your money, jewellery, etc. to them. If anyone offers you any edibles to eat, do not accept them. Do not wear any jewellery while travelling by train. Keep your jewellery in your bag. Once you have reached your destination, you can wear whatever jewellery you wish.

21. When travelling, always carry some money with you.

22. Do not speak to an insane person. When he is not in his senses, you do not even know what he is going to say or what he will do to you and thereby cause you unnecessary embarrassment and ill-feeling.

23. Do not place your foot in any place when it is very dark. Similarly, do not place your hand in any place when it is very dark. Switch on the lights first and then do whatever you wish to do.

24. Do not reveal your secrets to anyone and everyone. Some people are in the habit of mentioning their secrets and thereafter telling the person not to mention it to anyone. Such persons are more likely to mention it to others (i.e. especially when you tell them not to mention it to anyone).

25. Always keep some of the basic and necessary medicines in your house.

26. When embarking on any course of action, think of the consequences first and then commence with it.

27. Do not purchase too much of chinaware and glassware unnecessarily because a lot of money is wasted in such items (on account of their breaking very quickly).

28. When travelling, women should carry a book of masa'il , a pen, paper, a utensil for making wudu , etc.

29. When a person is leaving on a journey, as far as possible do not ask him to purchase anything for you nor ask him to bring a certain item of yours which is kept at a certain place. At the same time do not ask him to take a parcel or a letter for you (which has to be delivered to a certain person). In most cases such requests cause inconvenience to the person who is travelling. Furthermore, if that person is not very cautious or particular (in carrying out such tasks) he will cause more harm to you (in not delivering or bringing that item after you had depended on him to do so). If you have to send a letter, you could do so by post. If you have to send or request for a parcel, you could do so by sending it or requesting it through one of the courier services. If the item which you wish the person to purchase for you is available over here, even though it may be more expensive, then purchase it from here. It is not good to inconvenience others merely for a little benefit to yourself. The task may appear very simple, but there are many problems in taking the responsibility and making the proper arrangements. If you have no alternative and you wish that a particular item be purchased for you, then give the money for the item to the person before he can leave. If the person is going to return by train (or plane), then give him extra money so that he has sufficient money if he has to pay for excess luggage.

30. When travelling, do not eat anything that has been given to you by strangers. Some people add poisonous or intoxicating substances in the food and thereby steal all one's money and possessions.

31. When rushing to board a train, bear in mind the type of ticket which you have purchased. Do not sit in an upper class coach when in fact you have a lower class ticket.

32. When you are sewing and the needle gets stuck in the fabric, do not try to pull it out with your teeth. At times the needle breaks or pricks the person's palate or tongue.

33. Always keep a nail-clipper with you so that you can clip your nails whenever the need arises.

34. If you do not have full confidence in carrying out a particular task, do not give the responsibility to others as well. This would cause unnecessary harm and ill-feeling.

35. Do not give advice to others out of your own accord. However, if you have full choice over a person (e.g. your children, students, etc.) or the person himself seeks your advice or opinion, then there is no harm in offering your advice.

36. Do not insist on a person to eat or to stay over at your place. At times this causes discomfort and harm to the person. What is the benefit of expressing this type of love when it results in ill-feeling and dislike.

37. Do not carry any item that is extremely heavy. We have seen many persons who carried heavy weights in their youth thereby causing damage to themselves which resulted in harm for the rest of their lives. This is more applicable to girls and women. They have to be more cautious because the joints, veins and nerves of their bodies are weaker and softer.

38. Do not leave needles and other sharp objects lying around. It is possible that someone may sit on them mistakenly and poke themselves.

39. Do not give any heavy or dangerous object from an elevated place to any person. Similarly, no food or drink should be passed on from an elevated place. It is possible that the object will slip and fall.

40. If you have to hit a child or a student, do not hit him with a thick stick or by kicking and fisting him. Allah forbid, if the child gets hurt or injured at a weak spot then you will find that the tables will be turned on you. You should also abstain from hitting a person on the face or head.

41. If you visit someone and you have already partaken of your meal (prior to going to the person's house), then the moment you go to his house inform him that you have already eaten. This is because your hosts will not ask you whether you have eaten or not and they will silently worry about preparing a meal for you irrespective of whether it is meal time or not. They will take the trouble of preparing a meal for you and when they present it to you, you reply that you have already eaten. How dejected they will feel at that time? So why don't you inform them before-hand? In the same way, if someone invites you for a meal or asks you to stay over for a meal, then seek permission from your house folk. If the situation demands that you have to accept without seeking permission, then inform your house folk before-hand so that they do not occupy themselves in preparing a meal for you.

42. It is not good to engage in transactions where there are many formalities or many things to be taken into consideration. In such places one is not able to speak clearly nor is one able to make the proper demands - one person understands something while the other understands something else. The consequences of this are not good.

43. Do not scrape or clean your teeth with a knife or any other sharp object.

44. Always feed your children who are studying with things that would give strength to their brains and minds.

45. As far as possible, do not spend the night alone in your home - only Allah knows what can happen. If there is no alternative, it will be okay to do so. It has happened that some people passed away (while being alone in the house) and people learnt of this after several days.

46. When stones, rocks, bricks, etc. are left at one spot for a long period of time, invariably scorpions and other dangerous animals begin to inhabit that spot. If you have to pick up the stones, do not do so all of a sudden. Instead, be extremely cautious, check the surroundings, and then pick them up.

47. When going to sleep, dust the bed with a cloth first because it is possible that an insect or animal may be on it.

48. Place the leaves of the margosa tree and camphor in between the folds of silky and woolen clothing so that such clothing is not eaten by worms.

49. If you have to conceal any money in the house, inform one or two persons in whom you have total trust as to the whereabouts of that money. Once, a woman concealed 500 rupees of her husband's earnings and passed away soon thereafter. No one knew the exact location of that money. They searched the entire house but were unable to find it. The husband was a poor person - just try and imagine the pain he must have experienced.

50. Some people lock their valuables and leave the keys lying around. This is also a serious mistake.

51. If you have to count your money and other valuables at night, do so silently. Do not allow your voice to be heard out of the house as there are thousands of enemies outside.

52. Do not leave the house with a fire burning inside. In the same way, do not throw a burning match (or any other item such as charcoal, pieces of wood, etc.) without first extinguishing it. If you throw such an item, ensure that you extinguish it with your feet after having thrown it. Do not allow any sparks to remain.

53. Never allow your children to play with matches, fire or fireworks. Once my neighbour's child was lighting a match. In the process he caught on fire and his entire chest was burnt. At another place a child was playing with fireworks and lost his hand in the process.

54. When there are no lights and you have to carry a candle (or any other source of light) to the toilet, be extra cautious. Many people have burnt themselves in this manner. Using paraffin is even more dangerous.